F. More effort needed. See me.

It's been a bruising half term on the Miso Coaster. Cactus has managed to take some huge steps forward in understanding and managing her misophonia, bless her, and recently took the initiative in speaking to one of the senior school staff about how she feels and how school can help. She's talking bravely about her misophonia and the anxiety that walks hand in hand with it, sometimes following, often leading. She's able to identify trigger situations and take action or ask for help. This has all been incredibly challenging, leaving her feeling raw and exposed, but trusting that the professional adults around her will understand and do the right thing.

And of course that's where it all falls down.

Test season is getting into full swing, and Cactus is really struggling with the cycle of anticipation, anxiety, being triggered whilst trying to concentrate in a test, distress, anger and disappointment. Last week an F for a test she should have aced, this week a test she couldn't finish, important GCSE papers on the horizon.

We've both spoken to the Assistant Head, who has promised to pass on the relevant information to the relevant people. I have a thread of emails going back to June explaining - repeatedly - how her condition affects her and what accomodations she's going to need for exams and tests. Nothing unreasonable and all perfectly do-able. I don't know how much clearer I can be. But for some reason it's not happening; either the message isn't getting through to the class teachers or, worse, it's getting through but people still don't understand. Or it isn't getting taken seriously because it's coming from "that" hysterical parent rather than a professional, despite the evidence of her very real anxiety and distress being right in front of their eyes every day.

This is NOT about me, of course, but I'm frustrated beyond words. I have spent hours learning about Misophonia to help my child. I am by trade a trainer and facilitator. I specialise in making complex subjects easy to understand. I've asked repeatedly to make a presentation to all staff so everyone gets the same message from the horse's mouth (or the horse's mother at least). Full strength, rather than diluted by a relay chain of Chinese whispers. I want them ALL to understand the full horror of what this means for my poor Cactus and what they can ALL do to ease her pain. I want to get WhatsApps saying "I think I did really well in that test, mum" rather than "they made me stay in the classroom, I couldn't concentrate, and now I'm crying in the toilets because I didn't finish the test and I've failed".

Over the years there have been a few situations where I have moved from exasperation and frustration to quiet anger. My close friends know that this is usually a bad omen for someone. We call it "Can I Have A Word?" mode, after a famous incident when I followed a car that had carved us up - nearly killing us all - for over 20 miles in seething silence so I could confront the driver.

This week I have felt that change of gear as a physical jolt, like the surge of adrenaline and the slam of my brakes on that day. I am angry and I am on the warpath.

Can I have a word?