Eat. Sleep. Hear. Repeat.

We've had a very busy few months leading up to a huge change for Cactus. Last week she started college, a residential placement which means she stays away from home 3 nights a week in a shared room. Huge, HUGE stuff. And so far it's going brilliantly. She's making new friends, joining in with hostel life, and managing her Misophonia as best she can now that she has some more understanding and some solid coping techniques courtesy of a wonderful sensory OT we met over the summer (a separate post about that to follow). I'm feeling very proud of her and very relieved that she's settling in so well.

She's trying to rely less on her ear plugs and headphones as she learns to manage her condition, which has meant the return of an old friend of ours from the early days of our Misophonia adventure. And one that's quite challenging to live with.

One of the first symptoms we really noticed was mimicking. Remember when you were a kid and you tried to annoy your friends by repeating everything they said? Everything they said? Remember how infuriating it was? How infuriating it was? How it drove you crazy? Crazy? Crazy?

It started with coughs, sighs and other non-verbal noises. I might laugh at a joke, and she would immediately mimic my laugh whilst giving me the Death Stare. If you don't know that it's more or less reflex and involuntary - which we didn't at the time - it can come across as incredibly rude and childish. This summer it's developed to include certain speech sounds I make and, over the last few stressful weeks, complete sentences as she tries to use her headphones and earplugs less. I've had to dig very deep into my reserves of patience and tolerance. I feel as though I'm right back in the playground being taunted by the class bully looking for a reaction, and I worry that sooner or later someone WILL react. It's not much comfort to know that, as her primary trigger, I probably see so much more of this than anyone else ever will.

Some Misophonia sufferers have explained that mimicking a trigger sound can somehow "neutralise" it, others feel that it gives them ownership of the sound and takes away some of it's power to provoke a reaction. Here's an interesting article about a study of mimicry in Misophonia which is well worth a read if you have a Cactus of your own.

For now I'm adjusting to a huge change of my own as I get used to moving around the house as noisily and unpredictably as I want to for a few days each week. I can drink my cup of tea whenever and wherever I want to. And then have another one. And another.

Because some things certainly are worth repeating!